From Perfectionism to Permission: One Woman’s Boudoir Breakthrough | Singapore Boudoir Photography Studio
- Mary V C
- Sep 9
- 3 min read
Pin-up Rebel Ms K sat there, buzzing with excitement like a kid waiting for recess, finally stepping into a moment she’d been counting down to for weeks. (There was even a reschedule in the mix, so trust me, this felt like Christmas morning.)
She’ll tell you she’s introverted. But she also admits she looks extroverted on the outside, which is basically code for: “I can play the part, but I’d much rather be under a blanket with tea.” For most of her life, she stuck with safe choices. These days? She’s dabbling in aerial, pole, crochet, and even Hyrox. Yes, that’s a mix of dangling upside down, lifting heavy, and then curling up with yarn. A pretty perfect summary of her old and new selves merging.
Still, under all that adventure, perfectionism had been running the show. The kind that whispers “not enough” when she looked in the mirror, or made her second-guess what kind of mother she was. Boudoir photography was her rebellion. A firm, playful “enough is enough.”
The mirror moment
At some point in every session, there’s a transformation. For her, it happened while she was posing on the floor.
I asked her to look at her own reflection and imagine speaking to the younger version of herself. The air got heavy. She bit back tears. I knew we have to pause for a break or wrap up the session immediately.
“I’ve been so hard on myself,” she admitted later. “Always blaming, always criticising. But in that moment, I finally told myself, you were great all along.”
Her session didn’t feel like a photoshoot anymore. It felt like she had just laid down her armour for the first time. Or like a huge weight falling off her shoulders.
Finding the fun
Now, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t all deep and teary. There were bursts of laughter too. Like when she spotted one of her photos and gasped: “Love my butt shot!” she blurted out, cracking herself up. “I never knew there was this side of me.”
It was the sound of someone letting go. A woman realising she doesn’t have to edit herself into oblivion to be beautiful. Sometimes joy is enough.
Her photos as anchors
When she left the studio, the photos became more than a gallery. They became proof.
On tough days, when old doubts creep back, she scrolls through them. There she is: unguarded, radiant and feeling alive.
“It’s like a boost,” she said. “Instead of spiralling, I remind myself—hey, that’s me.”
What she’d tell her younger self
If she could go back in time, she wouldn’t hold back.
“Don’t wait until you’re my age to figure this out. You can love yourself while juggling work, kids, responsibilities. You don’t need to earn it. You’re already a great woman.”
That advice is worth bottling, honestly.
When shy meets sensual
She swears she’s shy. The kind of shy that would rather dissolve into the wallpaper than pose in lingerie. And yet, the photos told another story.
“With Mary cheering me on, I realised I could actually lean into my sensual side,” she said. “And it felt like a breakthrough.”
It’s a funny thing—shyness and sensuality. Turns out, they’re not opposites. Sometimes they’re just waiting to dance together.
So how does she redefine beauty?
She doesn’t bother much with outside opinions anymore.
“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder,” she shrugged. “And I’m the beholder.”
Mic drop. GASP!
A constant work in progress
This wasn’t a finish line. It was a checkpoint. She still forgets, still has days where the old voices creep back. But now she has something to turn to. A reminder that beauty isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.
“I’m proud of my growth,” she told me. “It wasn’t easy. There was pain and heartbreak. But I’m stronger and more resilient because of it.”
Her wish for other women (like you)
She thinks every woman should do this at least once in her life. Maybe even once every decade. Imagine pulling out those photos at 20, 30, 40, 50, and saying, “Damn, I carried myself through all those years.”
That’s not vanity. That’s gratitude.
Her final word
When I asked what she’d say to someone on the fence, she didn’t overthink it.
“Call Mary, please.” (I swear she made those words in bold and underlined them in her blog questionnaire)
Sometimes the bravest risk isn’t hanging upside down from a pole. It’s showing up, letting yourself be seen, and laughing over a butt shot you’ll probably treasure forever.
If you’ve been waiting for the “perfect” time, here’s a secret Ms K wants you to know. Perfect doesn’t exist. But joy, freedom, and a few surprising giggles? Those are waiting for you.
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