I found myself again, bit by bit, realising that hey, I actually enjoy time by myself. I don't need anyone to make my life complete. ~ Pin-up Rebel Ms R
Photographing Ms R is like a warm hug - comforting and soothing. When we first met, it was as though we already knew each other. Our twisted sense of humour and gripping conversations about everything and anything under the sun set up a noteworthy day. Add Gerra, our outgoing makeup artist, to the mix, and we get a group of animated women ready to rock the session!
So I'm sure you are here to learn more about her positive boudoir photography experience with us and her journey of discovering herself through this unique adventure with The Pin-up Rebels!
I am privileged and grateful to feature her here and share her story! Let's dive in!
First things first, did you inform anyone else that you will be doing this photoshoot?
Yes. I told my current partner and a very close friend of mine. I am extremely blessed that they were supportive and happy for me and looked forward to the outcome.
What is your understanding of boudoir photography?
Being in a controlled environment for me to express myself genuinely and without prejudice.
How would you describe something or someone as being sexy?
What a tough question! I feel that sexy is more than just what the media tells/shows us. It is whatever makes you feel confident, happy, positive, and doesn't hold you back or make you afraid of what others might say or think of you. I appreciate that not everyone can feel the same way or have the same kind of support, it is a lifetime skill and life (and people) are unfortunately not forgiving most of the time. I do hope that whoever reads this, will find their own 'sexiness' in their own way and have their own cheerleaders to support them through it all.
Please share a story about a difficult time in your life and how you overcame it.
I was in a very dark area of my life when a relationship that I thought would last ended. It was an on-and-off again relationship that lasted around 6 to 7 years. It was only ever a 'real' relationship for perhaps around 3 years or so. I thought I did everything I can to keep our relationship going, I did almost everything for the person (K).
An example would be, when it came to sex, I did what K wanted to make K happy, forgoing my own desires, pleasures, needs. Even when K found someone else during one of our 'cooling-off' periods and wanted to make the other person happy and asked me for help, I went along with it willingly. I was just so afraid of losing K and I was terrified of losing my identity of who I was if I didn't have K, I did not realised that I had inadvertently lost it when my life revolved around K. Though friends and loved ones tried their best to persuade me to leave K, I held on stubbornly.
When I went on a cruise (through winning it from a contest), I was actually happy. Looking back, it was a blessing in disguise. I was subtly happy to be away and actually enjoyed myself. When I returned from my trip, I was exhausted and didn't text K. Only after a few days later, when I finally contacted K to catch up, K was pretty upset and responded sharply, even after explaining how tired I was from the trip. Shortly after, K ghosted me. I told myself, you know what, enough is enough. That short trip made me realise that I can be happy without K. That I lost who I was and forgot to take care of who mattered the most, me. Of course the post-break up process hurt, I was numb, didn't felt like living, threw myself into work to avoid feelings of loneliness, spent weekends crying at home until there were no more tears, wondering if I made a mistake by 'walking away'... I had a great group of friends, who always knew the right things to say, to comfort me. And somehow, I found myself again, bit by bit, realising that hey, I actually enjoy time by myself. I don't need anyone to make my life complete. I didn't feel weird that I did things by myself, it gave me a chance to be courageous, to meet new people (and I don't usually like to speak to new people, it makes me tongue-tied and feel awkward). As long as I am happy, it's enough.
What was your biggest fear before working with me?
Probably accidentally farting. HAHAHA! Thank goodness I didn't, and if I did, Mary was extremely chill about it. I am very lucky to have been in photoshoot sessions for a lingerie brand before and I felt pretty comfortable in my skin. I did however, never really like pictures of my face. I never liked how somewhat crooked my face is and secretly think I do look a bit crossed-eye and scrutinised how small my eyes are (bring back memories of how I was taunted for it). I also did feel a nervous about my size, but mostly debated with myself how others might see me, especially have friends who are quite conservative. The photoshoot exceeded my expectations. From the start (when Mary contacted me) to the prep session (emails and notes to prepare before the shoot), on the day (getting to know you, make up, deciding on outfits and poses) all the way to the end (reveal and post follow up) it is an experience that I can't express in words, other than it being unforgettable.
What was the best part of your entire boudoir photography experience, and why did you enjoy it the most?
Talking about monkeys... and also being guided for poses I didn't even know I could do. The reveal session was definitely a very emotional experience for me. Mary captured me in a way that I could still see myself on the outside, but also on the inside (I hope it doesn't sound narcissistic). I say this because the friends that did the photoshoots before me, Mary captured their inner beauty in a way only others see them, through their eyes, through her lens.
In three words, how would you describe your feelings when you saw the photos?
Uplifting. Emotional. Amazing.
What would you say if you were to recommend us to your best friend?
Yes. Do it. You won't regret it.